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Are you planning your next illegal dream vacation? Have you been chomping at the bit for some fun in the sun, cheap hookers and bottles of performance enhancement drugs? Are shady locker room transactions at your local gym getting old? If so, then this travel guide is going to take you around the globe in search of all the naughty things your parents warned you about.
Depending on where you come from there is a good chance that steroid laws are severe. So pack your bags full of tank tops and disposable income! And maybe buy a knife once you get there. These places are the wild, wild west and are definitely not for the faint of heart. If you want to play it safe, go take a cruise with your in-laws or something. Finding a hardcore gym to train at and a place to score juice will not be difficult.
Same country, just a different corner of the Wild West… err East. Even by the standards of Asia, the going rate for steroids in Pattaya is insanely cheap. These Eastern Bloc countries have a long history of steroid use. Lifting is as much a part of their culture as vodka and oppressive authoritarian governments are. While juice can be found in capital cities like Warsaw and Kiev, I highly recommend that you stay away from the Ukraine for the time being until they sort out their issues with Russia.
If joining a separatist group and getting in a firefight is your thing, then by all means go to the Ukraine. Saying that they do sounds like the beginning of a bad joke that no one will laugh at. This country has enough problems dealing with the cocaine trade. Places like Cartagena and San Marta are known for their local culture, stunning array of beach bodies, and a steadily growing community of bodybuilders.
The gyms here pump out enough testosterone that the air you breathe is highly anabolic. Just standing next to a Colombian Gym Bro is hormone replacement therapy. Anyone who has traveled to Mexico knows right off the bat that steroids here are not known for their potency. They are downright crap. Much of what you see on the American side of the border is smuggled from Mexico anyways.
If someone feels like going straight to the source, you can buy crappy Mexican products at cost or you can just go to the many bars and get wasted on the cheap. Like most Eastern Europeans, Bulgarians love to lift. Yes, they have steroids damn near everywhere but they also have nice beaches along the Black Sea coast which are a favorite destination for vacationing eastern European women. However, in Bulgaria it proves handy to have a native speaker with you whenever doing a transaction.
On the up-side, clen is cents on the dollar over there. This article is for entertainment and information purposes only.